You Got a Friend In Me

I've always wondered what the world would be like if greed and pride never existed. Imagine all the things that would be better. They do say that greed is an innate human characteristic and we are all born with it to some extent. I believe that. Pride is something that most males (and females to a lesser extent) base their lives around, so I believe that as well. You can't get by in this world without being a little greedy and prideful. But what if, just what if, the world never had any of that? Imagine that.

Most of the stuff that goes on in todays world, the problems, can mostly be related back to greed and pride. Someone got too greedy and bit more than he could chew or some company wants a complete monopoly so they start to buy out the competition. Greed, its in the deepest depths of our hearts in all of us. Even as kids, you always wanted to be the one with the most everything; most marbles, most candy, most friends, most toys, etc. I think I'm convinced that the world today is what it is because of people's greed over the past 6,000 years or so. Imagine all the wars that happened because of territory and resources, the innocent lives that were consumed by greedy men, the higher ups that always benefit from the underlings, it goes on. I just wonder since when did our world become so driven with pride and greed. You hurt my pride, so heres all out war. You stepped into my territory, so heres all out war.

The sad part of it all is that these are grown men and women that cause it all. As kids we're taught by our parents and teachers to always share, be generous, solve arguments peacefully and mutually, yet our "grown ups" who're supposed to act like "adults" divert back to childish play. In this way, life will always be a circle. Kids will learn to be "model citizens" only to be corrupted later on by the "real world". History always repeats itself whether it be in grand scale or in our daily lives. We never seem to actually learn from our mistakes. Somehow, someway, that smidgin of greed and pride always drive us back to repeat history. I honestly don't think that the world has "learned from their mistakes". I'm no history expert, I'm just your less than average Joe, but even my naive self can see the repetitive cycle of the same old problems over and over. I do wish the world could be a better place but as it is written, the world will only get worse. People will become more and more greedy, more prideful, and more corrupt.

I don't care what they say about "change" and "will make the world a better, greener, place", I'm not going to believe you until I see it with my own eyes. Its ironic that I need confirmation because faith is all about belief without seeing. I don't put my faith in people, we're all flawed. This is not to say I completely distrust mankind. I will always put my faith in people I know I can rely on, people who get the job done, people who talk while walking. I know that everyone, including myself, will fall into pride and greed's clutches sooner or later. Even if I fall into the clutches of pride and greed, I know I've always got a faithful Friend to pull me out.

Amongst the evils of this world, I pray that I will not be shaken, my vision stay true, and my faith stay solid as a rock. 
And God said, "You got a friend in me".


Psalm 23:4-6


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Bible Progress - Ezekiel 38
I'm starting to read 4 chapters a day now cause I misread the calendar and didn't see that sundays you're supposed to read 5 chapters, not 3. Got a little catch up to do if I want to finish by the end of the year.

Three Long But Short Years

My 3 year anniversary just passed this past weekend and it doesn't seem that crazy until I think about it in perspective. My whole college career, the primetime of my life, the best and worst experiences have all been shared with one person. Freshman year was just all giddy and then for some odd (and still unresolved reason), I decided it was time to start dating again. Just what the heck, right out of the blue. I guess you can say I finally gotten over my past two (horribly ended) relationships but I don't think that was all.

I specifically remember when and where and what I was doing that moment I asked her out. I was sitting in Human Sex class at 8:30pm and I think we were learning about the different types of love from the physical to the emotional to the unconditional God's love, agape. Something triggered the spark and basically told me, "Hey, you like this girl. Accept it". I know I was fighting an internal struggle because I guess I had a couple of people that I liked at the time but one was always overshadowed until she just decided to, BAM, make her self known. The funny thing is when I really wanted a girlfriend for the past like, 4 years in high school, I never got one. Never got even close to getting one. It was the beginning of sophomore year in Cuse that I finally let go of that "desire" to have a girlfriend and it just so happened I ended up getting one. Lesson learned God.

I'll be quite frank, I don't think I was attracted to her consciously at first but deep down, I was. I mean who would wanna date a physically abusive girlfriend? Wasn't happening until God proved me wrong. Out of the other (unnamed females) that I sort of had a crush on, in the end I ended up with the one I never imagined to. Sure it was crazy at first because everyone teased us about it. We were that awkward, "how'd you two happen", couple. Crazy at first, but life-changing later. After the initial honeymoon phase, when we were not the new couple in town, things began to get real. I never knew how long this would last nor do I know how long it will, but I know for sure I don't regret any minute of it.

For the past 3 years we've had our ups and downs like any healthy couple. We've had our handful of fights where I'd be yelling, she'd be yelling, I'd be ignorant, she'd be bawling, good times? But yeah, most of the time I was probably ignorant. I'll be honest, I'm terrible boyfriend material. I rarely compliment her, I rarely ever show any enthusiasm with her, I've got her enough gifts to count in one hand, I make fun of her all the time, I don't celebrate any of the couple-y holidays with her, and I call her chubs. Yet for some crazy reason she stayed and I guess I'm grateful, no, I am grateful. The past 3 years she showed me that not all girls are the same (as my previous 2 relationships). Maybe once in the 3 years I had to "be" there for her, even though I still made fun of her. Bottom line is shes been there more for me than vice versa. So I'm basically the needy one. The irony. She showed me that she is capable of not letting the little things bother her, nor to care for what the status quo is. I don't think I've ever met such a strong girl and I'd bet that she'd take down goliath, metaphorically and physically speaking. She's been able to develop a strong sense of composure even in the most stressful times. She's like the elephant in the room that's labeled "Blessing" yet I over look it almost everyday. She taught me how to actually care for someone and not just say it. Granted she's not perfect and she doesn't fill most of the criteria of my potential girlfriend list that I made back in 2003, but she fulfills. And I just spent the past 15 minutes writing this and it contains more compliments than I've given her in the past 3 years combined. Sad truth.

Out of all the girls in the world I got stuck with this chubber face.

In the end all I want to say is, thanks chubs.

Sincerely,
Horrible Boyfriend

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Bible Progress - Jeremiah 50

No Matter What, In Any Circumstance

Blessed be your name
In the land that is plentiful
Where your streams of abundance flow
Blessed be your name

Blessed be your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Through I walk through the wilderness
Blessed be your name

Every blessing you pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your glorious name

Blessed be your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's 'all as it should be'
Blessed be your name

Blessed be your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be your name


Every blessing you pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your glorious name

You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be your name
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Bible Progress - Jeremiah 17, movin' right along

The Aftermath of The Aftermath

August 20th, Merriweather Pavilion in Columbia, MD

Indescribably awesome. I remember when Hillsong came to MD 2 years ago, I didn't lose my voice then. This time around I did but its back to normal now. I can honestly say that this past weekend was the best I've had all summer long. Met some really great new people, caught up with old friends, and went to a Hillsong concert. I definitely needed it. Amidst all the same old same old, it was nice and refreshing to have a splash of color thrown at you.

Theres something amazing about praising God with hundreds and thousands of your fellow brothers and sisters in Christ. In that moment it was like we were all one. I guess thats what heaven will be like, continuously praising God alongside thousands of others. People from all races, backgrounds, places, all praising together in one voice is an outer worldly experience. Pretty much reaffirmed how much I love praising. I wouldn't mind praising for eternity. Its definitely the rejuvenating factor I needed. I look forward to the day I'll be able to praise forever for eternity alongside my brothers and sisters.

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."
John 16:33

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Bible Progress - Isaiah 48

Why Can't I Be In Their Shoes Again? Pt.2

So if you've been reading my previous posts for about two months now, you know that I've been pretty much reminiscing all summer long. A few people know what my old xanga page is and I've read through it recently only to cringe and wonder, "damn...was I really that emo?". But I did pull out a quote that I made up that particularly caught my attention again:

Memories are like the seasons. Spring a time of growth, summer a time of enjoyment, autumn a time of gathering, and winter a time of remembrance. Memories will grow with more enjoyment as we work to gather these into remembrance.

Why did this quote stick out to me? Probably because I spent a good amount of time after dinner just sitting outside in my balcony enjoying the (now cooled) summer night breeze. They say that memories are triggered not by sight, but smell. Interesting little fact because I feel like thats exactly what happened 30 minutes ago in the balcony. I mostly recalled my multiple summer retreats that I went to in youth group. If you've been to a youth summer retreat I think you can picture this scene exactly. Something about the breeze and the atmosphere outside brought back the memory of those times after a major activity in the afternoon was done and everyone went back to shower, change, and get ready for dinner. We'd all come out with fresh clothes, wet hair, girls smelling like shampoo, guys smelling the same, and we'd eat dinner and get ready for night service. Plus it was usually around this time we'd leave for summer retreat. Our retreats were always 5 days and 4 nights so I'm pretty used to begin secluded and away from modern civilization. All 40-50 of us just secluded in the middle of nowhere having fun, making fun of each other, flirting, playing late night games, living and praising God together. Not gonna lie though, I felt pretty old sitting out there alone in the balcony reminiscing about the old days. I know people say that a lot but I literally felt damn old for some odd reason. Maybe because I've hit that stage where there are no more summer retreats to look forward to. Even if I do get a chance, I'd probably be a counselor/teacher type rather than a carefree, young son-of-a-gun. Nostalgia at its finest. That was probably a good 8 years ago starting from 8th grade.

Something about the days where all you had to worry about were the first day of high school, or the SATs, or that one cute girl in youth group, the innocence of it all, I miss dearly. After our youth pastor left for Korea, we all went our separate ways. We barely even kept in contact with each other. I want to relive those days because they were genuinely fun. Of course we had our share of complaining for the usual camp rules of no cell phones, curfew, minimal guy/girl physical contact, but of course breaking those rules were all part of the happy memories. I can say without a doubt that all my summer retreats in youth group, even though some really pushed our limits, were the best memories of my high school days. I'd relive it over again if given the opportunity. I've been blessed with wonderful experiences. Memories are really God-given gifts. I'm looking forward to the day where I can sit in front of my next-gen macbook pro couple years from now and remember this exact time. "Remember that time you reminisced about reminiscing? Good times huh?"

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Bible Progress - Isaiah 2, Song of Songs was a pretty, interesting to say the least book to read through

The Journey

Sometimes they say the journey is more rewarding than the destination. Some people may disagree and say the destination is the reward but to me, its the journey.

I love to drive. I can't put it another way, I just do. I've been a car enthusiast since middle school. I'm one of those car-geeks that can name the year, make, and model of 99% of the cars that goes by. You can call it a side hobby I have. I've always dreamed of having my own car and now that I do its like living that dream. I love driving and the sheer comfort, relaxation, and fun that comes along with it. I've had my car for about 5 years now and I must say, even though we had our ups and downs, its still my reliable little baby.

When I drive I have peace of mind, no matter how bothersome the traffic becomes. Granted somedays I just wanna get home and out of the jams on the beltway. Often times you have passengers in the car as well and it becomes a mini road trip. I love road trips. Period. I love it more than the destination. I look forward to the drive because of the conversation we have or the sights we see or maybe even the spontaneous pit stops we make. I have my days where I drive like I'm part of fast and furious, weaving in and out of traffic at high speeds but then there are those days where I'm a senior citizen, just cruisin' along. How this whole car relationship started I don't know but all I know is that behind the wheel is one of my favorite places to be. I loved the trip up to Syracuse for Lodi. Many bonds formed or got stronger and overall it was fun. I love making the trip down to chubs' house or our newest neighbor Mr. Wayne Chen's new apartment. Sometimes I even make spontaneous trips to nowhere just for the pleasure of driving. I guess some people might call me crazy and say how driving can be relaxing but I know for a fact that I'm not alone in this category. Like-minded others know the feeling I'm talking about when you just drive for the heck of it. I plan on driving cross country and back and day just to say I did. So help me gas prices and go down just a little bit more. But no amount of gas is gonna stop me from the roads.

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Bible Progress - Psalms 143, officially passed the half way mark of the bible at Psalms 119