Monday, October 24, 2011

Laus Deo

I did my daily bible reading today and I went from Mark 10-13. Within these passages I found one that particularly stuck out to me.

"Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours" -Mark 11:24

Afterwards I decided to try it. One of the main things I prayed for was to get job application replies this week. I asked for faith to trust that it'll be done but also the wisdom and humility to know that it is God that makes all things possible. "...In Jesus name, Amen", then I go grab a slim jim, came back, opened my email, and almost supernaturally there it was, an interview request with the studio I applied to sent exactly 5 minutes ago. I did a double, triple, quadruple take , refreshed my gmail over and over, and in the end found myself to be awestruck. 

At this point I don't care if I get the position or not, all I can say is that my God is a Living God. 


Recently I've been thinking about the fact that there will soon be (or already is) 7 billion people inhabiting this planet. Thats a lot. I feel like our landmass can only support so many. When I see pictures of the crowded streets of China and India, I fear for the future. What's gonna happen when we literally over populate the Earth?

If you live in the DCMDVA metro area you know of of the 3 numbers that all commuters and interstate travelers dread, 495. This 4 lane (at times 5) is called the capital beltway because it circles our nation's capital. But at the same time, this beltway is probably the only road that connects MD and VA together. This is never good for traffic. There are always the dead zone hours we all try to avoid because of the insane traffic. I don't know what kind of city planner decided that it was ok to connect two, rapidly developing areas (Tysons Corner, VA, Rockville, MD) with one highway. 

I actually do fear for the future. If traffic is this bad already, what'll happen when our generation start our own families and have kids? The amount of people multiply at an exponential pace. Lets be honest, who these days wants just one kid? People these days are busy as ever popping child after child out. I know of families with 4 or more and it scares me. Soon those kids will be driving, soon they will be applying for jobs, not looking too good. All the talk about the economy supposedly getting better by 2017, I doubt it. Its only gonna get worse. If they can't handle the population now, how are they ever gonna handle double? I fear there will always be a shortage of jobs and open positions for young people to go into their dream field. There can only be so many open positions. Does this mean only a limited few will live out their dream? The 1%? Hard work and dedication will get you far but how much more do you need because everyone else is doing the same? The human body is only capable of so much. 

7 billion different personalities. 7 billion different opinions. 7 billion people. Thats a huge number. I see construction projects and notice how much resources go into building a bridge, a road, a house, or even a large skyscraper. I see millions and millions of cars pumping gas at the same time. I see billions of people around the world drinking water and millions more flushing toilets while taking showers. The grand scale of how much we use is mind blowing. How will the Earth respond to such an enormous demand? I'm not a fan of all those companies that hop on the sustainability bandwagon because we all know its just another way to be more profitable. But there are always good people in the world. Heck, with 7 billion people, I'd hope that at least one person has the balls to come up with something crazy that'll actually leave our planet in a sustainable state. 

The world's single greatest resource is the 7 billion human minds that are at work. Some are geniuses, some are less than average, some are corrupt, some are passionate, some are generous, some are greedy, its all different. If all 7 billion people had the unified characteristic of generosity, how great would the world be. Never going to happen. All I know is that I'll do my job of raising the next generation properly. None of these roudy, obnoxious, spoiled kids that are growing up these days. I have absolute zero tolerance for kids who have no respect whatsoever. I pray that my future offspring will be faithful, respectful, and smart amidst their obnoxious peers. But for the time being, I will try to play my part as one of the 7 billion that live to make even just one other person's day brighter. 


Bible Progress - Mark 14

Monday, October 17, 2011

The Value of My Life

If someone asked you the question, "are you happy with your life?", how would you answer? Quite honestly, I would have to say I'm so-so. Currently, the deadly zone we call the grey area, thats where my life found its home. Its weird because I love all the experiences I had getting up to this chapter of my life yet the past 5 months have been pretty disheartening.

One of the main things that have been bothering me, ever since I graduated, will be quite ironic to some. Generally you'd hear parents complaining about how much money you'd spend on a monthly basis but for me, its the exact opposite. My parents complain to me that I don't spend enough money. Ironic, but heavily disheartening. Their point of view is that I'm a recent graduate, have good friends surrounding me, have the rest of my "exciting" life ahead of me, so I should be having fun and making the most of my experiences. Well most everything involves the bread. The "real world" hit me quite hard as soon as I stepped out of my little college bubble. Quite frankly, at the moment the real world is sucking the life out of me. I'm the type of guy that thinks hard before I spend money. A little too much sometimes. I've had other (God given) venues of cash over the summer that didn't come from any job (I'm very grateful), but I've been scared to use freely. I'm the type of person that is intimidated by 3-figure prices. It pains me, physically pains me to sign off on anything that is beyond 3-figures (hence I don't want a 4S, yet). My limit at restaurants is generally around the magic $18.95 mark for entrees, I dare not go higher. Luckily I am able to maintain my own gas and food expenses through God's generosity but thats it. I don't want to use my joint account credit card because I know theres still money left to be paid off. It pains me deeply every time I have to swipe that one. The bottom line is, I got college debt to pay off that'll be a dollar-bill-sucking-parasite-at-my-side for the next 10 years or so. This is probably the main (shallow) reason I want a decently paying job. Others would pursue their dream job in any fashion but I'd rather pay off my debt as soon as possible then get eaten alive by interest rates. At the moment I could care less if I go into anything creative or not, I just want financial stability of some sort. I want my parents to stop saying "you should spend more money". That phrase is literally a stab to my heart with a cold, adamantium knife. The sad part of it all is that I still don't know what I want to do with my life. Actually I do know what I want to do with the rest of my life but I doubt I can make a living off praise team for the next 70 years or so.

Its been a rough summer but He's gotten me through it. I've thought a lot about the value of my life. I realized that I really didn't learn much in college. Most everything I learned about videos, audio, and editing was self taught. My professors weren't always the most helpful and some have even forced me to change my major. Was the $200k really worth it? Here I am, 5 months after graduation, broad range of mediocre skills, everything-I-can-do-someone-else-can-do-better resume, and currently 22 years of age and afraid to spend over $90 on anything. Its no wonder I don't have a job. Yes I am a recent graduate who is still living with my parents and gets "allowance". Yes I have a broad range of skills that are mediocre at best. Yes I currently possess a resume that is shadowed by fellow graduates. Yes I am 22 and can't spend $90 without a slight hint of guilt slash worry...and yes I'm still jobless. Friends all around me are jump starting their careers and I'm sitting here typing this. I'm not gonna lie, at one point I've even classified myself as a failure because all I did was waste $200k and 4 years learning pretty much nothing new. I put my parents in debt for the next 10-15 years. Yes I am a failure. This is the value of my life, worth less than minimum wage. Actually, my value is in debt.

But the crazy thought of it all is that He cares for me no matter how worthless I think I am. Me, who is probably categorized under the "recent graduate rejects". I cannot tell you how glad I am that I decided to read the entire bible by the end of the year because every single time my pessimistic side takes over, it revitalizes me, gives me life again, brings back my optimism. I think I found out why people say "find rest in Him". Time and time again our God is faithful and a trustworthy savior. The past 5 months of hardships have made Blessed Be Your Name my favorite praise song. Takes the words right out of my heart. I am grateful for the fact that whenever I could see the bottom of my account, He has always provided. I am grateful for the day He will pull me out of this period of tribulation...and yes, I am grateful for that day when He'll open the floodgates of heaven to pay off my debt. I see the world in a new light, His light. Its remarkably more beautiful. You find the smallest, hidden-in-plain-sight blessings and it amazes you.  How it all comes together is way beyond me.

Whenever the world tells me I'm worthless, useless, no good for anything, I tell them the cross has placed in me my worth. Something so grand that the world cannot fathom, that is the true value of my life.

Bible Progress - Matt 13