Friday, June 25, 2010

Unofficial Rules of the Road

I rarely lose my cool. I rarely if ever get pissed off. I rarely show pessimism. However, the road makes the worst of me come out. Don't get me wrong, I'm actually one of the most considerate drivers you'll meet. I'll let you butt in front of me in traffic. I'll always let you go first on a turn. I'll always signal if im feeling impatient to cut in. I'll always give right of way to you pedestrians ONLY IF you guys are not douchebags.  However there are some unofficial "rules" that are in play on the streets. Especially in the busiest hours. If you can't follow them, please do us all a favor and get off the road or find another driver for you. No need to take up space on the road with your "dangerously safe" driving.

The Unofficial Rules of the Street:
1) As soon as the light turns yellow, its time to speed up, not slow down. If its been yellow for about 3 seconds, THEN and ONLY THEN you slow down.
2) If it says no turn on red but no ones there...go for it.
3) Never go at or below the speed limit or face the consequences from the rest of us.
4) If you think you're an awesome multitasker, save it for the office and not the blackberry in your car.
5) Music is meant to be played to your consent. I'm all for blasting with windows down. But at a red light, lets be considerate.
6) If your car has an exhaust problem and we can actually see the damn smoke coming out of your pipe, I'm no green freak but lets get that fixed. Asap.
7) If you think your all cool with your riced up pieces of junk, dont feel embarrassed when a minivan out runs you on the straightaway.
7.5) If your car makes a sound that is related to an a/c on steroids, a cry of a slaughtered lamb or goat, or the sound that comes out of your rear before a massive diarrhea bomb, go stick your head in your own exhaust pipe and suffocate please (cuz im pretty sure you could since those exhaust pipes are damn huge).
7.75) If your car's engine is just that powerful, don't be afraid and just let the beast out.
8) Stop signs are only there for when there are two or more cars in the scene.
9) The left lanes are called fast lanes for a reason.
10) If something goes wrong...lets not panic. 90% of all accidents can be avoided if people would stop panicking and think straight for just a second.
11) If you've never driven in the snow before, slow and steady wins the race.
12) Your learner's permit doesn't grant you invincibility.
13) Parking lines are there for a reason.
14) Street racing is perfectly fine as long as the parties involved know what they are doing.
15) Speeding never kills anyone, the sudden braking does.
16) Car horns can do many things from avoiding accidents to pissing off your neighbor.
17) Unfamiliar with the area? Pull over and use your map or gps and stop going 10 mph trying to find the location.
18) You slowing down to check out the accident on the curb slows the whole road down, horribly.
19) Be courteous and let tailgater pass. They are tailgating for a reason.
20) Enjoy your driving experience.

Please obey the rules :)

Saturday, June 5, 2010


I am the definition of minimalist.

Minimalist: being or offering no more than what is require or essential.

Ever since freshman year of college, my stuff has decreased tremendously. I went from bringing my whole house my freshman year, to weeding out the extras during sophomore year, to bare essentials junior year. Those that have visited my room in Ernie Davis this past school year know what I mean when I say "bare essentials". My room consisted of the furniture that was already there + a bunch of randomness put together to call it a room. Those at church probably know my trademark outfit by now. 

Look Familiar?

Yeap, its the good ol' Syracuse sweatpants. In fact, this year I've bought another pair of sweatpants just so people dont think I never change. As many have voiced concerns and questions about my attire of choice, I am here to assure everyone that I am a very clean person, probably more obsessed with cleanliness than 95% of the population. 

My room in 823 Davis was quite the sight. Emptiness at its fullest. Empty to the point of echos. My desk had my laptop and printer, 3 outta 5 drawers were filled and the other 2 were empty, closet had 5 pieces of clothing hanging with 5 pairs of shoes on the bottom (still wondering why I brought so many), walls were as white as snow, and the fact that it was hardwood floors didnt help the emptiness look. 

When I was packing to leave for home, I realized my senior year I can get rid of more stuff. Screw the 5 pairs of pants that I seldom wore, cuse sweats are where its at 24/7. I had a good whole drawer filled with shirts but again I only wore my hoodies. People always asked me before I left "gee isnt it tough packing?", and I would answer "I got my guitars and a duffle bag to bring home, yep its pretty tough". They would give me the wtf look. Still I thought I had too much stuff so I trashed all the unnecessary junk that was taking up space in my room and it boiled down to 1 amp, 1 guitar, and 1 duffle bag to bring home. In the back of my mind I still feel I had too much stuff. Why travel heavy?

So why am I going on about being a minimalist?

For the past few weeks ever since I got back home I've been moving to my new home and helping others move as well. Its a pain. When I saw all the boxes and boxes of stuff people had I had to wonder, do you really need all this? My room was finished within the hour of moving. Good guess, I had minimal stuff to move in. My parents, not so much. Took the whole week just to get rid of old books, sermon notes, packing all the 15 tons of books into 9 bookshelves, and the out of tune piano. After a good coupla weeks of suffering from the pains of moving and the experience of moving everyones stuff to Uhaul and Patrick's after spring semester 2009, it just comes to me instinctively to ask:

Do you really NEED all this stuff??!?!?!?!?!?!!

Dear College Students,
You're going to live here for less than half a year. Do you really need your whole house? You only spend that much more time agonizing about packing.

Dear Adults,
Old means old. Malfunctional means malfunctional. Outdated means outdated. Yea yea it has sentimental value, so much that it was found in the dust covered box in the corner of the basement storage.

Dear Kids,
You are (insert single digit # here) years old. You dont need 3/4 of the stuff you have in your room. They are plastic and serve no functional value other than "look pretty". In a couple of years they're going the salvation army anyways, why not start now and save some trouble :)

Again I'm probably coming off as harsh to some. But in all honesty...

Do you really need all this stuff?

A pair of sweats and the number to jimmy johns works for me.