Monday, July 25, 2011

The Journey

Sometimes they say the journey is more rewarding than the destination. Some people may disagree and say the destination is the reward but to me, its the journey.

I love to drive. I can't put it another way, I just do. I've been a car enthusiast since middle school. I'm one of those car-geeks that can name the year, make, and model of 99% of the cars that goes by. You can call it a side hobby I have. I've always dreamed of having my own car and now that I do its like living that dream. I love driving and the sheer comfort, relaxation, and fun that comes along with it. I've had my car for about 5 years now and I must say, even though we had our ups and downs, its still my reliable little baby.

When I drive I have peace of mind, no matter how bothersome the traffic becomes. Granted somedays I just wanna get home and out of the jams on the beltway. Often times you have passengers in the car as well and it becomes a mini road trip. I love road trips. Period. I love it more than the destination. I look forward to the drive because of the conversation we have or the sights we see or maybe even the spontaneous pit stops we make. I have my days where I drive like I'm part of fast and furious, weaving in and out of traffic at high speeds but then there are those days where I'm a senior citizen, just cruisin' along. How this whole car relationship started I don't know but all I know is that behind the wheel is one of my favorite places to be. I loved the trip up to Syracuse for Lodi. Many bonds formed or got stronger and overall it was fun. I love making the trip down to chubs' house or our newest neighbor Mr. Wayne Chen's new apartment. Sometimes I even make spontaneous trips to nowhere just for the pleasure of driving. I guess some people might call me crazy and say how driving can be relaxing but I know for a fact that I'm not alone in this category. Like-minded others know the feeling I'm talking about when you just drive for the heck of it. I plan on driving cross country and back and day just to say I did. So help me gas prices and go down just a little bit more. But no amount of gas is gonna stop me from the roads.

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Bible Progress - Psalms 143, officially passed the half way mark of the bible at Psalms 119

Monday, July 18, 2011

Why Can't I Be In Their Shoes Again?

The real world. Its what most college kids look forward to (or dread). For me, its indifferent. I definitely miss the thought of going back to school in August, meeting up with friends again, going back to studies for another year. I definitely, undoubtedly miss that feeling. It sucks right now because I have nothing to look forward to for a while. Even though we complain about the school work and stress that comes with being a college student but deep down I think we really enjoy our time in college.

So far this isn't the most glamourous "real world experience" that many of us looked forward to. I don't have my dream job nor my home church. Its been a couple months of repetitive, need something to do in my life type summer. After a couple of months of bumming around, spamming job sites, and a little bit of Lodi, I realized how much I actually miss cuse and KCS. I know I say this a lot but for me its almost a disease thats affecting me negatively. Lodi week was the best week thus far of summer. I was able to relive the life of cuse for a little bit. I realized how much of a negative impact not serving in a church would have in my life. I thought, "I guess its time to take a break from serving" but no, its more like "my life force is slowly being drained, slowly, but surely". After 4 years I thought it'll be nice to take a step back, take a backseat, and rest up. Resting was never so stressful. I now know that I am the type of person that has to be constantly serving at a church no matter what. Its my life, my all, and if I don't, I slowly wither away. I had the chance to volunteer at a couple of vbs for a few days and watching the staff members and praise team working made me envy them so much. I never felt such envy in my life before. "Why can't I be in their shoes again"?

I'm hopeful that my time will come again where I can serve but I'm not gonna lie, I'm getting impatient. My true happiness comes from serving in a church setting and most of all, praise team. Over the summer I constantly catch myself feeling pretty dang jealous of other praise teams because I want to be with them again. 10 years of my life just doesn't settle for backseat. My dream life would be to forever serve in a praise team setting whether it be playing the bass, setting up praise equipment, working the mixer, or whatever else is needed. I'll probably never be content with a secular job, even if its in film. I just feel so inadequate right now sitting here. As a recent college graduate its my time to shine and get my life on the way. I know what I want to do and its nothing the world can offer me. Why can't I find "Need worship team member, immediate hire" on job sites? Well, I'll take this time to practice some more patience. Greater things have yet to come in my life.

"Only in Christ is there a perfect life and a perfect future". -One of the things I learned from Lodi

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Bible Progress - Psalms 115

Saturday, July 2, 2011

Crossroads















The week that I've been looking forward to has already come to an end. This time I left Syracuse for good (for a while maybe) and it definitely was bittersweet. It was an odd feeling seeing KCS and then leaving it so quickly. Definitely felt like I had unfinished business there. All in all, another Vision Summer Camp has successfully come to a close. I know many were blessed. I am now sitting at the crossroads once again, back in the real world, decisions upon decisions. I think I'm actually pretty excited to work on the Lodi film. A little perk in life goes a long way. I just hope by this time next year I'll know where all this is taking me.

Go to church, Read the bible, Obey God's word, Witness to others, grow.

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Bible Progress - Psalms 60, had a delay in reading because of Lodi but gonna catch up tonight