Monday, April 11, 2011


I get stressed over the most randomest (not a word but who cares) things. I'm not stressed because of my thesis projects or final thesis papers and presentations, but I'm stressed over the fact that I am graduating. Why am I getting stressed over graduating? I ask myself all the time these days. I secretly know the answer but I constantly deny it. "I'm stressed because I don't want my best 4 years of my life to end. Its all drawing to a close so rapidly!".

As the months wind down on the greatest 4 years of ones life (supposedly), taking a look back at mine gives me both room for regret and satisfaction. Of course campus has changed a lot physically since I've first stepped foot onto cuse as a open-minded, ready to take on the world freshman. All I wish for now is a pleasant ending to a soon to be memorable chapter of my life. Pleasant, but challenging as well. After many life changing experiences, critical life lessons learned, and pots and pots of KCS special moo gook (everyone should know this lunch special if they've been to the Grove), theres less than a month left in the greatest era of my life. Its sad on my part that I countdown the days til graduation not because thats when my life will take off, but because thats when my fantasy life will end and the "real world" will begin. I have a hard enough time working 15 hours a week, twice a week. Cuse has taught me that I'm definitely not fit for a office job. I need my freedom to travel and go crazy exploring my passions.

I've been doing a lot of soul searching lately to find what God wants me to do in the future (still unknown). I have dreams of doing everything possible that encompasses my interests in film, audio, art, food, games, church, you name it. We all know thats "humanly" impossible because no one person can juggle that much at the same time. Or maybe we are completely capable yet everyone is too scared to try it because they probably know its "bound to fail". Should I be the world's first mega-entrepreneur that starts a business that does literally everything creative? Thats stress for another day. Currently I'm stressed because I only have a month left in cuse. Granted I hate cuse with a near burning passion its strange that I'm feeling so down about leaving this place. Shouldn't I be happy I'm finally out of this hole?

I guess its a good type of stress because its not the type that makes you want to break down in the middle of the night because you pulled an all nighter and bombed the exam. Its the type of stress that keeps me on my toes, refreshing my gmail every 5 minutes (literally) waiting for the one email that has your future attached to it. Its the type of stress that you know will one day turn into nostalgic feelings whenever and wherever I eat moo gook again.


Bible Progress - 1 Kings 7 (I slacked a bit last week) -_-;;

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