I rarely lose my cool. I rarely if ever get pissed off. I rarely show pessimism. However, the road makes the worst of me come out. Don't get me wrong, I'm actually one of the most considerate drivers you'll meet. I'll let you butt in front of me in traffic. I'll always let you go first on a turn. I'll always signal if im feeling impatient to cut in. I'll always give right of way to you pedestrians ONLY IF you guys are not douchebags. However there are some unofficial "rules" that are in play on the streets. Especially in the busiest hours. If you can't follow them, please do us all a favor and get off the road or find another driver for you. No need to take up space on the road with your "dangerously safe" driving.
The Unofficial Rules of the Street:
1) As soon as the light turns yellow, its time to speed up, not slow down. If its been yellow for about 3 seconds, THEN and ONLY THEN you slow down.
2) If it says no turn on red but no ones there...go for it.
3) Never go at or below the speed limit or face the consequences from the rest of us.
4) If you think you're an awesome multitasker, save it for the office and not the blackberry in your car.
5) Music is meant to be played to your consent. I'm all for blasting with windows down. But at a red light, lets be considerate.
6) If your car has an exhaust problem and we can actually see the damn smoke coming out of your pipe, I'm no green freak but lets get that fixed. Asap.
7) If you think your all cool with your riced up pieces of junk, dont feel embarrassed when a minivan out runs you on the straightaway.
7.5) If your car makes a sound that is related to an a/c on steroids, a cry of a slaughtered lamb or goat, or the sound that comes out of your rear before a massive diarrhea bomb, go stick your head in your own exhaust pipe and suffocate please (cuz im pretty sure you could since those exhaust pipes are damn huge).
7.75) If your car's engine is just that powerful, don't be afraid and just let the beast out.
8) Stop signs are only there for when there are two or more cars in the scene.
9) The left lanes are called fast lanes for a reason.
10) If something goes wrong...lets not panic. 90% of all accidents can be avoided if people would stop panicking and think straight for just a second.
11) If you've never driven in the snow before, slow and steady wins the race.
12) Your learner's permit doesn't grant you invincibility.
13) Parking lines are there for a reason.
14) Street racing is perfectly fine as long as the parties involved know what they are doing.
15) Speeding never kills anyone, the sudden braking does.
16) Car horns can do many things from avoiding accidents to pissing off your neighbor.
17) Unfamiliar with the area? Pull over and use your map or gps and stop going 10 mph trying to find the location.
18) You slowing down to check out the accident on the curb slows the whole road down, horribly.
19) Be courteous and let tailgater pass. They are tailgating for a reason.
20) Enjoy your driving experience.
Please obey the rules :)
2011 Lighthouses Jean Guichard Online PDF eBook
8 years ago
