I'm Number 1!

A very delayed happy new years to you!

I've been slacking with the blogging but hopefully I'll get on it asap and stay on top of my routine.

So 2012 has finally come and personally I feel that this is the year where my life will start to forge its own path. Its been over a month since I've been employed and I have to say, thanks God. He answered my prayers exactly on the dot. Maybe I should've prayed for an earlier employment date rather than "by the end of the year." Many if not all of you probably have your own resolutions for the coming year and likewise, I have mine. As you know I have successfully finished reading the bible last year. This year I have a new set of resolutions that I hope I can keep along with my 50 year bible plan (which I've creatively dubbed The 5-0 Plan). With the numerous resolutions I came up with I just chose to stick with one.

This is the year to be humble and thankful. Cliche? Yes. But this is the year where I will be thankful more so for what I have. With this whole 99/1% junk and occupy this and occupy that, I nearly hopped on the bandwagon for the 99%. Then I actually sat and thought about it. No matter how much of a "financially difficult" situation I was in, I've always had health, food, water, and shelter. That in itself is more than enough to be considered "rich" but I've also had great company wherever I went, I now have a job, and a family in good health. What more do I want? I asked myself that over and over and when I sat down and actually thought about it, all I've been doing is complaining about the luxuries I didn't have. In the near future I'll probably never have my dream car, an ipad, an imac, excess cash to fulfill my oh so greedy heart, nor enough to go on a dream vacation. I literally sat down and wrote out a list of these things then later trashed it cause it was obscene. Here's the dumbed down version: luxury, luxury, luxury, money to pay off loans, luxury, luxury. Yep, I'm shallow. My entire list was full of useless, meaningless stuff for personal momentary pleasure. I've also come to the realization that I do consider myself part of the "1%". In my honest opinion, I think that whole 99/1% debate is all cognition. How do you perceive your own quality of life? I have an amazing one, just not the luxuries that the 99% so desire. I consider myself rich for never has a day gone by where I starved, fell ill of disease, or slept against the elements. Oh, did I mention that I'm typing this up on a macbook pro while tweeting on my iphone? I guess because I own Apple products I'm automatically part of the 1%.

On that note I really do wish these "99%" can settle down. I do sympathize with the "real 99%ers" and not your average jack and jill who tweet and share "occupy" all over the place to go with the trend. I have a serious pet peeve for bandwagoners. I just don't know how to deal with all the same facebook updates and tweets about x and y when I know for a fact that they had no clue as to who or what x and y were before. Not gonna lie, I'm guilty of it as well. Judge me if you so desire. Greed will only get you so far in life. Even if the 1% controls all the wealth, there are those that probably worked their asses off to get there. They just reaped the fruits of their intensive labor. Why would you want to steal that away? Respect. On the other hand if they're up there because of exploitation, fraud, or other gimmickry, He gives and takes away in due time. In the end, the world could use a big slice of humble pie right about now. I'd like mine blueberry flavored.

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Bible Progress - Exodus 5

774,746

Today marks the day I've officially read the bible to completion. Yes, I've read every one of those 774,746 words (I counted, not really). Its such a bittersweet feeling right now especially remembering back to Dec. 31st, 2010 when I decided to make this commitment for the year. It was one of my 2011 resolutions and I'm ecstatic that I've actually seen it through. Honestly I can't remember what my other resolutions were but I'm glad that this one pulled through the crowd. It's been an awesome journey and I can't say the timing could've been any better. Even though I read the bible in a linear fashion, certain chapters, certain verses, certain stories were on target for the spiritual guidance or healing that I needed, especially true during my desert days from May through November.

God is good, all the time.

When I finished chaptered 22 of Revelations a few minutes ago, I felt like I conquered the world. I can vividly recall the feeling of fear and intimidation at the sheer length of the bible when I first read through Genesis 1-3 on January 1st, 2011 thinking this is impossible. Slow and steady won this race. He's been good to me and allowed my conscience to remind me to daily read read and more read. Although there are a couple of days where I missed, He granted me wisdom to catch up on the next day. All in all, I'm glad. 2012 is looming just beyond the near horizon and I'm ready to start again. Next year and the subsequent years, I'll read daily no matter what. No matter how busy or crazy things get I'll try my hardest.

My challenge now is to read the bible 49 more times in the next 49 years so by the time I'm 73, I'll have read the bible 50 times through. Here's my commitment now and the true test of my personal faith to begin in 2012. Granted I'll probably not update this blog when I'm 73 but who knows. So if you guys want to mark your calendars, December 28, 2061, I shall "try" to remember to update this blog with an entry celebrating my 50th Bible Completion. Words are cheap, but I'll really try to remember.

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Bible Progress - Back to Genesis 1 on 1/1/12 :)
Bible Completion - 1

Philippians 4:13

I think I'm close to celebrating my 150th application soon and out of the 150 tries, I think I got maybe 25-30 interviews. Ever since I've been applying to jobs it feels like college apps all over again except 150x more difficult. At least college apps gave you a direct "yes or no" response whereas jobs just leave you hanging for a while. I specifically remember 3 interviews in particular very well. Why? Because I was interviewed in Korean.

One such interview was at MBC. Now the person who called me spoke english perfectly well without any hint of an accent. I knew this person had to be either a naturalized citizen or a Korean American by birth. This skyrocketed my hopes. This is MBC we're talking about, one of the Big 3 Korean broadcasting studios alongside KBS and SBS. Ironically I got the call during one of my other interviews at an accounting office. In the end, I was excited, nervous, and eager to go in for the interview. This was THE interview I've been waiting for. Not just another job where I want to go because I need a job, but something I actually can see myself doing 50 years down the road, somewhere I can learn more about the broadcasting and studio world. The office was located in DC so I left an hour prior to my scheduled time and I literally got there exactly on the dot at 11:30 (hate traffic..) I walked in proudly and ready to knock'em dead, then it just went down hill. There were 3 interviewers, all of them were probably my dads age, and they started the interview in Korean. Now my Korean is not bad at all. I can read, write, and speak proficiently enough, but its definitely not native level. The usual questions such as tell me about yourself, what are you looking for, personality, I knocked down easily. They even asked me to read an article from a Korean newspaper and summarize it for them, twice. I guess they wanted to see and hear my Korean. I felt like I semi-butchered up the Korean language and I could tell at least one of the interviewers were not impressed. Then they took it up a notch, they started talking politics.

I didn't know that I was applying for MBC News in America. They started to ask me stuff I vaguely remember from US History and Government classes. I for one do not like talking about politics but given the need I will. I think I can hold a decent political conversation. But talking politics in Korean is...for lack of better term, gg. I literally got GG'ed. They started asking my opinion on the US/Korea Free Trade Agreement, the relationship between President Obama and Lee, the on going economical crisis and how it has a collateral affect on Korea. If I heard myself answer these questions, I think I too would've rolled my eyes and let out short sighs. By this point I could tell I was losing them. From what I can tell two of the interviewers were the ones that handled the stories and one of them was a videographer, the one who does things that I can related to. I felt a glimmer of hope though when the videographer started to ask me non-political questions. He also had a very nice demeanor. I didn't feel nervous at all when I answered any of his questions. The other two, one was a lot more open about his dissatisfaction and completely stopped asking questions. The longest hour of my life came to a close and they sort of just shooed me away. To end things on a good note I went around thanking them and shaking their hands. It was a good gesture of admitting defeat and believe me, I was literally defeated after that.

Never felt so stupid in my life. Oddly enough, a couple of days later they gave me a call back for a second interview. In my mind, "wthail??". I immediately remembered the living hell I went through in that interview and instinctively declined. I had officially become stupid. I spent the next couple of days in full regret that I let that smidgen of pride take over and declined maybe a God-given opportunity. It was miserable. I prayed about it hoping to find some resolution to that issue and forgiveness if it really was a God-given opportunity and I pridefully declined it because it didn't suit my needs.

No use crying over the past, whats done is done. I've gotten over it and I guess God told me to move on to new and better places. I'm currently waiting on my second interview with Customink.com as well as another design company. Customink seemed to like me as they've stated they want to bring me in for a second interview soon and the other company I just got referred to from chubbers who got the position, congrats to her! I learned my lesson from the MBC experience. No matter how odd, difficult, and unfitting the position maybe, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Looking forward to the upcoming interviews and maybe my jobless days in the desert will come to an end. Just maybe.

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Bible Progress - Galatians 5

Black Friday and a Curiosity

I'm guilty for stealing the title idea from another amazing writer. Like many others, I too went black friday shopping. None of the midnight madness though, I'm more of a scavenger. I like to scrap through the leftovers in the aftermath of the craziness. I'm proud to say I've finally gotten myself a decent coat. So with black friday and savings and all, I got myself a $250 coat for $5. I paid with a hamilton and it felt great.

Thanksgiving is also over and I hope everyone had a great time with their family and friends had thought of numerous things to be thankful for. What is interesting though is that now its officially Christmas season and you can see the numerous lights and wreaths (reefs as I used to spell it in elementary school) around town with the slogan "happy holidays" everywhere. Just curious, what happened to "merry christmas"? Is it officially deemed "offensive" to some people so they use "happy holidays" now? Hence I shake my head.

If your significant other can get their own day, if MLK, Columbus, and the President can get their own days, if the American flag can get its own day, if a frikin leprechaun, a pumpkin, and a turkey can get their own days, why can't we just celebrate the One who deserves so much more than just two days? Why must He be overshadowed completely by the easter bunny and santa?

...and yet the "happy holidays" people still sing, "glory to the new born king" and "we wish you a merry christmas". In my honest opinion, thats just sort of hypocritical, just a little. I'm not being cynical, I'm just legitimately curious.

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Bible Progress - 2 Corinthians 11

Laus Deo

I did my daily bible reading today and I went from Mark 10-13. Within these passages I found one that particularly stuck out to me.

"Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours" -Mark 11:24

Afterwards I decided to try it. One of the main things I prayed for was to get job application replies this week. I asked for faith to trust that it'll be done but also the wisdom and humility to know that it is God that makes all things possible. "...In Jesus name, Amen", then I go grab a slim jim, came back, opened my email, and almost supernaturally there it was, an interview request with the studio I applied to sent exactly 5 minutes ago. I did a double, triple, quadruple take , refreshed my gmail over and over, and in the end found myself to be awestruck. 

At this point I don't care if I get the position or not, all I can say is that my God is a Living God. 

7,000,000,000

Recently I've been thinking about the fact that there will soon be (or already is) 7 billion people inhabiting this planet. Thats a lot. I feel like our landmass can only support so many. When I see pictures of the crowded streets of China and India, I fear for the future. What's gonna happen when we literally over populate the Earth?

If you live in the DCMDVA metro area you know of of the 3 numbers that all commuters and interstate travelers dread, 495. This 4 lane (at times 5) is called the capital beltway because it circles our nation's capital. But at the same time, this beltway is probably the only road that connects MD and VA together. This is never good for traffic. There are always the dead zone hours we all try to avoid because of the insane traffic. I don't know what kind of city planner decided that it was ok to connect two, rapidly developing areas (Tysons Corner, VA, Rockville, MD) with one highway. 

I actually do fear for the future. If traffic is this bad already, what'll happen when our generation start our own families and have kids? The amount of people multiply at an exponential pace. Lets be honest, who these days wants just one kid? People these days are busy as ever popping child after child out. I know of families with 4 or more and it scares me. Soon those kids will be driving, soon they will be applying for jobs, not looking too good. All the talk about the economy supposedly getting better by 2017, I doubt it. Its only gonna get worse. If they can't handle the population now, how are they ever gonna handle double? I fear there will always be a shortage of jobs and open positions for young people to go into their dream field. There can only be so many open positions. Does this mean only a limited few will live out their dream? The 1%? Hard work and dedication will get you far but how much more do you need because everyone else is doing the same? The human body is only capable of so much. 

7 billion different personalities. 7 billion different opinions. 7 billion people. Thats a huge number. I see construction projects and notice how much resources go into building a bridge, a road, a house, or even a large skyscraper. I see millions and millions of cars pumping gas at the same time. I see billions of people around the world drinking water and millions more flushing toilets while taking showers. The grand scale of how much we use is mind blowing. How will the Earth respond to such an enormous demand? I'm not a fan of all those companies that hop on the sustainability bandwagon because we all know its just another way to be more profitable. But there are always good people in the world. Heck, with 7 billion people, I'd hope that at least one person has the balls to come up with something crazy that'll actually leave our planet in a sustainable state. 

The world's single greatest resource is the 7 billion human minds that are at work. Some are geniuses, some are less than average, some are corrupt, some are passionate, some are generous, some are greedy, its all different. If all 7 billion people had the unified characteristic of generosity, how great would the world be. Never going to happen. All I know is that I'll do my job of raising the next generation properly. None of these roudy, obnoxious, spoiled kids that are growing up these days. I have absolute zero tolerance for kids who have no respect whatsoever. I pray that my future offspring will be faithful, respectful, and smart amidst their obnoxious peers. But for the time being, I will try to play my part as one of the 7 billion that live to make even just one other person's day brighter. 

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Bible Progress - Mark 14

The Value of My Life

If someone asked you the question, "are you happy with your life?", how would you answer? Quite honestly, I would have to say I'm so-so. Currently, the deadly zone we call the grey area, thats where my life found its home. Its weird because I love all the experiences I had getting up to this chapter of my life yet the past 5 months have been pretty disheartening.

One of the main things that have been bothering me, ever since I graduated, will be quite ironic to some. Generally you'd hear parents complaining about how much money you'd spend on a monthly basis but for me, its the exact opposite. My parents complain to me that I don't spend enough money. Ironic, but heavily disheartening. Their point of view is that I'm a recent graduate, have good friends surrounding me, have the rest of my "exciting" life ahead of me, so I should be having fun and making the most of my experiences. Well most everything involves the bread. The "real world" hit me quite hard as soon as I stepped out of my little college bubble. Quite frankly, at the moment the real world is sucking the life out of me. I'm the type of guy that thinks hard before I spend money. A little too much sometimes. I've had other (God given) venues of cash over the summer that didn't come from any job (I'm very grateful), but I've been scared to use freely. I'm the type of person that is intimidated by 3-figure prices. It pains me, physically pains me to sign off on anything that is beyond 3-figures (hence I don't want a 4S, yet). My limit at restaurants is generally around the magic $18.95 mark for entrees, I dare not go higher. Luckily I am able to maintain my own gas and food expenses through God's generosity but thats it. I don't want to use my joint account credit card because I know theres still money left to be paid off. It pains me deeply every time I have to swipe that one. The bottom line is, I got college debt to pay off that'll be a dollar-bill-sucking-parasite-at-my-side for the next 10 years or so. This is probably the main (shallow) reason I want a decently paying job. Others would pursue their dream job in any fashion but I'd rather pay off my debt as soon as possible then get eaten alive by interest rates. At the moment I could care less if I go into anything creative or not, I just want financial stability of some sort. I want my parents to stop saying "you should spend more money". That phrase is literally a stab to my heart with a cold, adamantium knife. The sad part of it all is that I still don't know what I want to do with my life. Actually I do know what I want to do with the rest of my life but I doubt I can make a living off praise team for the next 70 years or so.

Its been a rough summer but He's gotten me through it. I've thought a lot about the value of my life. I realized that I really didn't learn much in college. Most everything I learned about videos, audio, and editing was self taught. My professors weren't always the most helpful and some have even forced me to change my major. Was the $200k really worth it? Here I am, 5 months after graduation, broad range of mediocre skills, everything-I-can-do-someone-else-can-do-better resume, and currently 22 years of age and afraid to spend over $90 on anything. Its no wonder I don't have a job. Yes I am a recent graduate who is still living with my parents and gets "allowance". Yes I have a broad range of skills that are mediocre at best. Yes I currently possess a resume that is shadowed by fellow graduates. Yes I am 22 and can't spend $90 without a slight hint of guilt slash worry...and yes I'm still jobless. Friends all around me are jump starting their careers and I'm sitting here typing this. I'm not gonna lie, at one point I've even classified myself as a failure because all I did was waste $200k and 4 years learning pretty much nothing new. I put my parents in debt for the next 10-15 years. Yes I am a failure. This is the value of my life, worth less than minimum wage. Actually, my value is in debt.

But the crazy thought of it all is that He cares for me no matter how worthless I think I am. Me, who is probably categorized under the "recent graduate rejects". I cannot tell you how glad I am that I decided to read the entire bible by the end of the year because every single time my pessimistic side takes over, it revitalizes me, gives me life again, brings back my optimism. I think I found out why people say "find rest in Him". Time and time again our God is faithful and a trustworthy savior. The past 5 months of hardships have made Blessed Be Your Name my favorite praise song. Takes the words right out of my heart. I am grateful for the fact that whenever I could see the bottom of my account, He has always provided. I am grateful for the day He will pull me out of this period of tribulation...and yes, I am grateful for that day when He'll open the floodgates of heaven to pay off my debt. I see the world in a new light, His light. Its remarkably more beautiful. You find the smallest, hidden-in-plain-sight blessings and it amazes you.  How it all comes together is way beyond me.

Whenever the world tells me I'm worthless, useless, no good for anything, I tell them the cross has placed in me my worth. Something so grand that the world cannot fathom, that is the true value of my life.

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Bible Progress - Matt 13